Victor's Insecurities
by Kaneki Phantomhive
Summary: Victor thought he knew how Yuuri felt about him, but after weeks of silence, he begins to think otherwise. Finding the pressure too much to handle, he goes skating, only to have everything come crazing down upon him. Sorry I'm too lazy to change Yuri to Yuuri. Please review, my first ever Yuri on Ice fic. Nothing explicit. Victuuri fluff/angst. T cause I'm paranoid. Oneshot.


**Hi guys. I've just been introduced to Yuri on Ice, and I'm so far into the fandom I cannot find the goddamn way out. My first ever YoI fic, so please bear with me. Victor is probably OOC, as this is pure Victuuri fluff, so enjoy. Please read and review, I love constructive criticism.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Yuri on Ice. If I did, there would be a lot more Victor fluff. Victuuri for the win.**

* * *

Victor had everything: fame, fortune, thousands of swooning fangirls. He had the world at his fingertips. So why did he feel so self-conscious? Lately, he kept worrying more and more about how other people perceived him, especially one skater by the name of Yuri Katsuki. He was unable to sleep, tossing and turning, moving from one position to another in the hope of finally being able to drift into unconsciousness. Alas, he had no such luck. Suddenly, he sat bolt upright. It was as if a light had been switched on in his brain. _I'll go do a bit of skating_! He thought happily. Yuri had given him a key to the local rink weeks ago, one that he had yet to use. However, perhaps some gentle choreographic routines on ice would do him some good. He quietly snuck out of his room, grabbing his skates, key and jacket as he did so. Tiptoeing down the hallway, carefully avoiding waking Yuri and his family, he trod out into the crisp night air. Walking down the road, Victor stopped. _I've been spending far too much time around Yuri. Who ever thought I would begin imitating his habits?_ He choked back a silent laugh of mirth and continued forwards.

* * *

Yuri woke to the muffled sound of a door shutting down the hallway. _Who could be up and about at this time of night?_ He wondered groggily. He stumbled out of bed, intending to check that it wasn't just Victor's dog, Maccachin, wandering around. Upon entering his idol's room, however, he found it empty. Alarm shot through him as he beheld the neatly made bed and snoring Maccachin. _Where is Victor? I hope he's okay. It isn't like him to go wandering off at all hours of the night._ Yuri thought worriedly. Then he realized that Victor's skates were missing. _He must've gone skating at the rink. Maybe I should go join him. God knows, I need the exercise, and I should also check he's alright._ Yuri crept back to his room, snatched up his skates, and, as an afterthought, his rink key, and walked out into the footpath, the twinkling night sky glittering serenely above his head.

* * *

Meanwhile, Victor had arrived at the stake rink and was struggling to unlock the stiff door. _Dammit, I was never expecting the lock to be this tough,_ He cursed silently. All of a sudden, the door swung open, and Victor leapt inside before locking it securely behind him. He made his way to the ice, before lacing up his skates with speed and accuracy borne from years of practice. He slowly took to the ice, starting off with a few small spins and circuits to loosen his muscles. Then he started moving through a few different parts of his previous routines. _Something doesn't feel quite right. I don't want to dance MY routines, I want to dance... whose?_ He wondered. Unconsciously, he began to move through a sequence of choreography all too familiar for him. How many times had he watched this same routine performed recently, seen every single moment of perfection and happiness portrayed through the program? And, how many times had he seen those rare moments when not everything went to plan, and the skater landed with a hard smack on the ice? And, how many times has he watched those bad moments and felt his heart break from the inside? _What's wrong with me tonight? What are these strange feelings?_ Victor wondered as he danced to Yuri's program. Then suddenly it hit him. _Of course. How could I have been so blind not to see it?_ Victor realized. He cared for Yuri, more than he had ever guessed. _But what if he doesn't care for me? What if I'm not good enough for him?_ Victor's breathing became uneven; his chest was constricting as he struggled to take in breath. Tears ran down his cheeks, and the edges of his vision were turning black. He collapsed to the ice, landing heavily on the rink's polished surface. He dimly heard footsteps approaching him, before his vision washed to black.

* * *

Yuri arrived at the rink only to find it locked and seemingly deserted. He was disconcerted, to say the least. He was SO sure that Victor would be there. _I wonder where else he could be._ He went to turn away, but stopped as he heard the unmistakable clacking of skates on ice. _So he is inside. I suppose he locked the door to ensure privacy._ Yuri pulled out his own key and quickly unlocked the door. He wound his way through the darkened foyer before making his way to the rink. The lights were on, as the soft glow from the naked bulbs was seeping into the hallway. _I'll try creep up on Victor... since he retired to coach me, I've barely seen him skate. I should take this opportunity to watch his choreography._ Rounding the corner, Yuri trod silently up to the edge of the rink. However, the scene he found laid out before him was certainly not the one he was expecting. Yuri's heart seemed to stop as he processed the scene in front of him. Victor was lying prone on the ice, uneven breaths tearing from his chest. His limbs were blue from cold, and apart from his rusty breathing, he was still and silent. Before he even realized what was happening, he rushed over to Victor's side, cradling his head. "Victor! Victor, are you okay? Did you fall? Did you muck up a jump? VICTOR!" _Oh my God. What do I do? First things first, I should stabilize his breathing. I hope he isn't badly hurt._

* * *

Victor was vaguely aware of someone rolling him onto his back and cradling his head. He blinked. _Who's that? What are they trying to accomplish?_ The blur of his rescuer's face sharpened, and he was able to make out who it was. _Yuri?_ He listened to the vague, comforting hum of Yuri's voice, and soon found his breathing returning to normal, his heart rate finally slowing. Almost immediately after recovering his wits, he turned bright red from humiliation and pushed himself away from Yuri. "I-I'm fine, don't worry. I just landed a flip wrong." He lied easily. _I really don't want him to think I'm inadequate of coaching him. How embarrassing would it be if Victor Nikiforov, ice skating legend, freaked out on the ice?_ He watched Yuri's eyes narrow, and his heart sank as Yuri spoke. "Victor, don't lie, that was an anxiety attack. I've had my fair share of them myself. So, can you please tell me what was wrong?" Yuri asked soothingly. Victor looked down, his platinum fringe hiding his face as he replied quietly, "I... don't know. I-I just couldn't..." He broke off, turning away from Yuri. _I'm weak. Yuri hates me, just like my parents did._ Yuri stared at the unusual sight of Victor, 5 time Grand Prix Final winner with tears streaming down his face, and hardened his resolve. "Victor, I want to admit something. I-I... care for you, um, a lot more than you think, and um..." His voice trailed away as he saw the hope shimmering in Victor's strange blue eyes. Victor seemed to war with himself, before tugging Yuri closer and hesitantly kissing him. Yuri's eyes widened at the sudden contact, frozen with shock. Victor pulled away, a hurt look in his eyes. "It's okay if you don't feel the same way, I just wanted to make my feelings known. I-I'll fly back to Russia tomorrow." He muttered, and Yuri gasped before grabbing Victor's waist, enveloping him in a tight hug. "Baka, of course I feel the same way, so please don't leave. I... love you... Victor." Victor smiled. "Me too, moya lyubov." This time, it was Yuri who leaned in. and they were so preoccupied, the didn't notice three small, identical children with cameras out and evil looks on their faces. Victor and Yuri were certainly going to get a shock in the morning


End file.
